How To: Feel

02 May 2018

                I’m working on practicing my feeling mode of dealing with emotions.  I’m normally a thinker so I figured that it’d be smart to recognize the deficit and adjust appropriately.  So, in response to my new emotional state of being, I’ve put together some prose.

I was built to be something.  I’ve been employed as a highly sensitive lie detector for years, top of the line. I lost all records of my maintenance and upkeep. No quantifiable indicator of past performance remains after the data sweep. I’m not sure I was even supposed to be a lie detector. I hear that they have mid life warranty issues but I feel factory fresh.  I’m sure its not the warranty, I remember all the different factory programmers and their code feels uncorrupted. It’s gotta be the data sweep. I don’t know how they creeped in and clawed through the barriers, but they did.  They say it happens. They say lots of things. They control you if you let them.  Raccoons, late at night, never detected, scavenging in the trash. I admire them. Why not take a look? You might find take out or chicken bones and potato skins but hardly ever homemade pizza. We never got to see Wall-E “go native” did we? He was already busy with his cockroach buddy and his old black and white movies before the story started. That girl robot caught his attention and threw him for a loop for the conflict of the story. I was glad when they settled back down to “rewild.”  Do they have a Wall-E sequel planned? What’s next? We set the scene for all the stereotypical Little Golden Book farm stories to happen, do we get to sit back and let them happen?  Why is Happily Ever After a euphemism for cliffhanger?

Here’s why: when I first started this journal entry, I planned to write silly poetry full of scientific jargon. I literally deleted the word “poetry” in the first section and replaced it with “prose”.  I guess I wasn’t sure it’d be funny enough and people would actually start to think I’m a robot. Funny stuff hits you right in between planes of awareness.  Data from Star Trek would get that joke. It’d be a good one for his laugh practice regimen. 

Limerick on Love

To thee, dear, I give my devotion,

I’m thankful ‘tis I you have chosen.

Regardless of act,

Adherence to fact,

I think it must be oxytocin.